Image by Robyn Van Dyke Photography
Two years ago, I was at Making Things Happen and I stood up in front of 100+ people and shared my deepest fear. I was a couple rows from the front, and had what I was going to say and then I stood up and it hit me. What I had planned was true, and to be honest I don’t even remember what it was, but what came on was vulnerable and honest and necessary. “I’m Callie Pitts, and I’m afraid to be a wife.” I was engaged to be married in a couple months, renovating a house, planning a wedding, and planning a life with Jamie. What was holding me back from all of these things was the fear that had just slapped me in the face, and if it wasn’t for MTH I’m not sure if I ever would have said that out loud and addressed it head on, but boy am I thankful that I did.
A couple of days ago, I was cleaning out a closet in our home, and found the letter that I wrote to myself on the second day of MTH and I fell slowly to the ground reading it. Almost two years into marriage, and I still need to hear these words that I wrote to myself, and maybe you need to hear them too.
Remember that time when your life felt like a whirlwind, like you couldn’t squeeze anything else in it? Remember when you were anxious, doubtful, and troubled? I can’t promise you that all of these feelings have vanished now but I can tell you that you are not enough, that Jesus Christ is ENOUGH and all you need. I can tell you that you are capable, strong, confident, and a servant of the Lord and HIS greater purpose. FOLLOW HIM. At this point, you will be a wife to Jamie Davis and I want to remind you that you will never be enough for him, only Jesus will. Be encouraged that you are not perfect but a perfect Savior died for YOU! Give grace, love deeply, live like there is no tomorrow, and serve others – giving all the glory to the King of Kings! Kiss your husband and thank him for loving you despite your flaws. And never forget that you are capable of MAKING ANYTHING HAPPEN!
Breathe life into your deepest fear. I promise you it won’t always be easy, but if your goal is sanctification, I promise you, it will be worth it. The Lord will draw you near, comfort you, and point in the right direction. And to be completely honest, I still struggle with the fear of being a wife (more to come about this) but I have accepted that I am not enough, and that I never will be enough. The good news is that there is someone else who will always be enough, and I want to firmly fix my eyes on Him.